It takes awhile for my heart to unfold – to figure out what it feels and finds words to communicate it. I don’t think I’m unusual in that. Getting to some of those deeper parts takes time in a conversation and even more so to get there in a relationship. Even to those closest, it’s not that I’m withholding – it just takes me awhile to get there. It is a good reminder to me to invest time and also to be patient with others. In difficult situations, it is often necessary to sit with someone in silence while their heart opens up.
Thankfully, we have a patient God. He is always available and His ear is always eagerly waiting to hear our heart. But how often do I rush through prayer?
I can come to God and sit in prayer - greeting Him, get through my “list” - and get up and move on in my day. It is good, but didn’t take time to get to the heart of the conversation. I’ve failed to listen intently or speak deeply.
Tozer admonished that our prayers often end before they really begin. That really resonates with me. And it encourages me to prolong my stay on my knees.
Am I willing to continue to sit, even in the awkward silence, as my heart moves deeper and deeper to really start to pray? I’m not always aware what is even in my own heart (although He knows) and the path to come naked before God may be long.
I can come at any time to God. I want to pray without ceasing, being constantly aware of His presence. But I also want to cultivate those deep conversations with God, the encounters that only come at the cost of time and vulnerability. It takes time to get to the depths of my heart and it also takes time to be still enough to hear His.
One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. Luke 6:12
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