And endurance produces character, and character produces hope… Romans 5:4
A few years ago, I experienced a difficult and restless season. I seesawed between questioning God’s personal involvement in my life and bemoaning my own mistakes and inadequacy. Some may call it a mid-life crisis, but it felt deep and painful. It was very unsettling as I recounted the places in my life that looked so different than what I had hoped.
Our natural inclination is to get out of an uncomfortable situation as quickly as possible. In an attempt to move me forward, well-meaning people would offer countless bits of advice. But I also had challengers in my life that helped me process through it. What do I believe about God? Was I willing to trust with what I didn’t understand or, frankly, didn’t like? What is God truly asking of me? What now? I didn’t want to eliminate the questions or doubt – I wanted to learn from them. There was something cooking inside and I didn’t want to microwave through it – I knew I needed a crockpot.
Abba Anthony, a third-century desert monastic, was asked how to please God. To paraphrase, he responded with three things. Always be aware of God. Obey God’s Word. Be slow to leave.
The first two make sense to me and are easy to remember, although they require persistent attention. The third one makes me ponder.
We live in a disposable society. When something's broken, we tend to toss it and get a new one, not fix it. This includes not only our stuff, but also our relationships and our situations. In giving up, we miss the chance to grow. We ditch a church that doesn’t meet our needs; we leave a job requiring some extra effort or a relationship that is different than expected.
Besides hard situations, maybe Anthony is suggesting that we be slow to move out of hard seasons – even dark ones when things or people are broken. Don’t be in a hurry to move on to the next season until you have wrung from it everything God desires to work in you. Don’t patch an issue with a cliché and try to believe it. Be courageous to sit and wrestle with it.
Be slow to leave. Marinate. Don’t hide the doubt, wrestle with it. Be brave. Don’t quit. Listen. Struggle.
Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t rush through that season. Yes, each season has challenges of its own. But I find I may be a little stronger, a little more at peace because I stayed. I talked to God about what I felt and thought and I took plenty of time to listen. That doesn’t mean that everything is resolved and tidied up with a bow. But each time I return to those struggles it will be for a more meaningful conversation with God, and not because my doubts leaked past the little bandaid I had put on it.
Be slow to leave…
… Because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:3-4
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