A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. Proverbs 29:11
Sometimes I just need to vent. And I have safe places to do that. Sometimes I vent to God, who knows my true heart. But there is a balance between getting it out – being real, expressing my feelings and frustrations – and rehearsing and nursing bad feelings, disappointments and mistreatments.
We live in a “get it all out there” culture in the name of being transparent. And after all, don’t I have a right to express myself?
The tongue is a powerful tool – to either build or to destroy. I need to consider what it is I am expressing, especially if it is to someone else. Those unfiltered words can be rude and hurtful. They can damage someone else’s feelings and maybe their reputation. It is selfish to demand to be heard at someone else’s expense.
Each time I repeat a grievance it also reinforces it to me. It fastens a little tighter to my soul and makes it harder to let go, to forgive, or accept my own responsibility and make changes.
Self-control is part of the fruit of a Spirit-filled life and we need to exercise dominance over our tongue. I can give voice to my hurts and complaints to God, trusting in His love to hear, correct me when necessary and intercede. But when I vent to another, I must decide if releasing my rant might feel good now but sow chaos to others in its wake. In such cases, may Wisdom prevail and give me strength to hold my tongue.
Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. James 1:19-20
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