“It looks like I'm going to have to let go of what I expected and enter a mystery.“ Eugene Peterson
I make plans. It’s what I do - lists, preparations, targets, goals. There’s good in that, unless I hang on too tightly. Sometimes I go down a road with certainty and every expectation of my destination and what my outcome will be. I’m in control, seemingly, until I hit an unanticipated curve. What happens then?
Life at this age is not what I anticipated. I always expected to have a family. And the rural and tranquil home I envisioned -that was somehow also bustling with a community of vibrant spiritual fellowship and deep, thought-provoking conversations - hasn’t come to pass.
The same is true for my expectations of God. He is not who I thought He is. He is more glorious, more awesome than my mortal mind can comprehend. And He doesn’t do what I think He will, or even what I think He should.
But here’s the thing. My expectations are limiting, even though they give me false sense of comfort and control. God is better than what I could imagine. His plans for me are better than what I could foresee or even hope.
I’m not always great at living in mystery, but I’m getting better. I’ve had the rug pulled out, so to speak, several times and the faithfulness of God has utterly overwhelmed me. And I’m learning to embrace the unknown because God’s path always is lined with grace and mercy. My expectations are dwarfed by the plans He has for me. My expectation of God is only a speck hinting at His reality. So though I don’t know what tomorrow (or even today) holds, I am letting go because I am confident that He is with me and will make a way. It is not a mystery to Him.
What expectations have you had to let go of? We all live in mystery because it is God who is in control. But even though the details of our life hold mystery, and God Himself is mysterious, His love and faithfulness are sure.
For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways My ways. Isaiah 55:8
