Dishing out negative information, even if true, is forbidden in the Jewish law of Lashon Hora. God wants us to love our neighbor and to treat everyone with dignity, even when – and especially when - it’s difficult. So we hold our tongue. But our fallen human nature tends to find a way. We become pharisaic in keeping the letter but missing the point of the instruction.
Communication involves words but tone and body language convey a message, too. A person is being discussed and we make a motion that we are holding our tongue. Or someone’s name is brought up and we roll our eyes. We are still spreading a negative perception. We are scattering the dust of Lashon Hora.
Yes, there are times that certain information needs to be passed on – for protection of others, for proper management of a team and even sometimes for the person’s own growth. But I must be mindful of right motives and that it not be accompanied by any dust that would taint someone unnecessarily. I struggle with this and when grace and generosity are not cultivated in my heart, it spills out somewhere. I want to love my neighbor - and show perfect courtesy to ALL people.
To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. Titus 3:2
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